I HATE gluten!!!

I HATE celiac disease…

…you might have picked up that I am in a pretty surly mood at the moment.

This post isn’t about having any sort of grand revelation…. this is just a rant. (Fair warning – this post won’t ever be eligible for any sort of literary prize.)

I HATE GLUTEN!!!

This isn’t even the deep mourning I went into when I was first diagnosed.  (Like when I would start crying in the super-sized grocery store because I couldn’t find anything to eat.)  No…. that was part of a grieving process.  I get that.

What this is, is just completely irrational anger.  I hate gluten.  I hate that it is in everything.  I hate that the teensiest, tiniest little spec of it is poison to me.  I hate that I can’t even eat anything that has touched a spec of it.  I hate that (despite the good food they serve) I have to eat at the same 3 restaurants if I want to have a lunch meeting with a client.  I hate that I have to pack a separate cupcake for my daughter when she gets invited to birthday parties.  I  hate that I always have to give people the third degree about what is in the food they made and how they plan to serve it.  I hate that there are people in this world who think that people who can’t eat gluten are just being dramatic, or that we should just stay home and only eat there.  I hate that some people, no matter how much you try and explain it to them, just don’t “GET IT”, and keep insisting on doing things that will cause me to ingest gluten.  I hate that some people in my family won’t get tested because they can’t fathom how they would survive on a gluten free diet.  I hate that they actually have symptoms and ignore it and I am asymptomatic and have to adhere to the gluten free diet anyway.  I hate that I can never just pick up take-out or order a pizza to be delivered.  I hate that most restaurants ideas of gluten free options consist solely of salads.  I hate that next time I go to Germany I won’t be able to have a beer..and a pretzel as big as my head.  I hate that my travels no longer include eating in little hole-in-the-wall places that we find whenever we get where ever we end up.  I hate that sometimes the only place in a town that has gluten free food is always an Olive Garden (although their veggies are always surprisingly good.)  I hate that no one in the entire planet makes a soft, chewy, bavarian-creme filled bismark that is gluten free.  I hate that McDonald’s doesn’t have a gluten free happy meal.  I hate that I will never again have a malt.  I hate that my forays to the state fair no longer are excursions to try new fried foods, but instead super healthy meals.  I hate that I have to shop in stores that smell like incense.  I hate that I have to call companies to see if there is gluten in my shampoo.  I hate that I get mad an envelopes that don’t have self-adhesive sticker strips on them.  I hate that I will never have my mom’s cut-out cookies again.  I hate that the metallic taste in gluten free pie crusts over-powers the flavor of the filling.  I hate seeing “Vital Wheat Gluten” right next to a bag of gluten-free flour in the grocery store.  I hate that I can’t bring home my son’s pasta-necklace for fear that it will get my daughter sick.  I hate that Brach’s candy company labels all their bags as possibly being cross contaminated. I hate that I have to think about everything I eat, every time I eat a meal.  I hate that I know what xantham gum is.  I hate that there are no gluten free Spaghetti-O’s.  I hate that I can’t order chocolate croissants anymore.  I hate having to explain that I have celiac disease to complete strangers anytime we go out to eat.  I hate feeling like a freak.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I hate gluten.

Pulitzer, here I come.

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About AccidentalCeliac

I am an architect living in Minneapolis who was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. I also am a mother of two children, one of whom has Celiac Disease, as well. This blog is about all things related to navigating the many terrains of gluten-free living. I hope to share tips and experiences, post news and fun ideas, vent a little, and share anything else that has to do with this lifestyle that so many people are now living with.

6 responses to “I HATE gluten!!!”

  1. Eric says :

    We trust Pizza Luce, for what it’s worth. That’s a blessing. We did ditch our wheat-containing shampoo, although the Mayo Clinic says that skin contact is not an issue for celiacs (and we don’t ingest our shampoo). 🙂

    I might add “and I hate that ‘gluten free’ is a fad diet right now which might mean that a lot of certified foods could disappear when we move on to the next craze.”

    On a happier note, my daughter lit up at Iron Man 3 tonight when we learned that Iron Man had gluten free waffles for breakfast.

    • AccidentalCeliac says :

      Yes, Pizza Luce is one of my 3 places that I go. Unfortunately they don’t deliver in our neck of the woods. And DITTO to the “fad” thing. I also hate that things get labeled GF when they really aren’t. But hey – I didn’t know about Iron Man….I am even more excited to see that movie now!! 🙂

  2. jamie herbstman says :

    Very well written rant. I feel for those with dietary restrictions and continue to figure out my own body’s needs. For ANYONE in support of CORPORATIONS doing the “RIGHT THING” PLEASE join our CONSCIOUS FOODS movement at http://www.consciousfoodsnetwork.com or like us on facebook. TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE CHANGE!!!

  3. Paula says :

    I hear ya, VERY frustrating. I”m two months GF and I’m still learning not to make assumptions that seemingly obscure things are OK to eat. Ex. I had to give away a bin of raisins, I didn’t read the label because I didn’t think I had to. But sure enough, “may contain wheat” . RAISINS??? Why??

  4. Paul Galchutt says :

    I appreciate your well documented cathart and kvetch. It’s not complaining if it’s true. Thank you for identifying in a body of words many of the detailed ways in which my life as a person living with Celiac is different from the 99% – a .vocation of mandate. It was a lamentation of healing.

  5. Renee says :

    Your rant made me cry. I hate gluten. I hate that I just spent the last four hours with my head in the toilet bowl praying to just pass out and sleep because the pain was so bad I didn’t think I would be able to get through one more minute. I hate that after 6years this attacks still occur. I hate that my 3 year old understand and uses ” mommy has gluten attacks” in conversations with other 3 year olds. Some days it’s very challenging to live gluten free.

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